XD i just spent forever with him on the phone (basicly just whining about my job XD). and so many things have just come into perspective in my head about my job.
the other night i had a little 'off the record' sit down with my current boss daniel about some of the things that have been bugging me at work and he pretty much told me that i wasn't just being paranoid. that the chief and Lt. were 'keeping an eye on me' and that some of the things that they had done when it came to me in the past even he considered a little 'questionable' no matter how many new policies the chief and Lt. made up each day.
that coupled with david's insite, and him clarifying some things as to true company policy (not the crap the chief and Lt. keep coming up with) .. it's like i've woken up.
i know it sounds fucking cliché as hell, but that's the only way i can describe it. XD
daniel tells me that the chief and Lt.'s view of me is that "why should they bother promoting me within the department when it seems that i don't want to be there?"
XD they're the assholes that made me that way. (and how can i not want to be there when i'm like the second most senior employee there? ive even been there about 4 years longer then both the chief and Lt. XD) if we take a step back a few years. :'D i was the "go to guy" i went above and beyond my job description. i was the one there after hours, off the clock, making sure things got done.
but as soon as the chief and Lt. came into the department and started freezing me out year after year how else was i supposed to react?
my attitude towards work now is that of 'come in, do my job, stay out of the way'. i don't stay any longer then i have to and i don't do anything more then my job description says i have to.
daniel thinks that i've been given more then fair treatment pretty much based on the way they've handled my tardiness. that may be true for a normal employee, but i'm a member of the tribe that employees the chief and Lt. i know they treat members different because the first thing the chief did when he was hired was hire this useless girl who at the time had a mother on tribal council (the council is like the bosses over everyone) and kept her around until she got bored of the job and transfered out when she realised there wasn't anyway to get away with doing nothing at the PD. so the reverse of the coin is of course they're not going to fire me for something so trivial as beng tardy. they're going to build a case against me. so that they can go in front of the council and be like "what else could we do?" "our hands were forced".
:'d david's pointed out my one possible saving point. the chief thinks that he is "above the law" so to speak when it comes to true company policies and procedures.
everyone says i should stand up or speak up to the chief, but i know that the second i do i'm fired.
i really don't want to lose my job.
it's not what i want to be doing right now, and it's not what i want as a career, but i am good at it and i am (for the most part) comfortable there.
D: someone be my hero and give me a cool new job kthxbye!