i really don't know how to explain that except to recall that episode of spongebob square pants where squidward moved into that gated squid community and lived with a bunch of squids just like himself. :'D the sad thing about that analogy is that in squidward's case he recognized the danger he had put himself in or more accuratly i guess you could say he recognized that he was not just a squid set upon the earth to do squid things and that he was a thing individual from other things. XD or uh .. he recognized himself and didn't want to lose that by doing the same thing everyone else did? hows that sound? make sense?
anyway, i don't think simon has ever recognized that part of himself that is truely individual. this affliction goes deeper then following fads and popular trends, i believe that simon makes up his personality based on the people around him whether he likes what he's doing or not. nothing he does is for himself.
and almost everyone i met in new mexico seemed to be the exact same way.
it's like they feed upon one another for attention and acknowledgement just to give themselves a reason to go on .. :'D i dunno if i'd call it living, but whatever it is, they do it better then anyone else i guess.
i left new mexico a little sad, but i didn't really feel like it was my place to drop a dose of reality on simon even though he kept asking me to. maybe we're just not that kind of friends anymore.
i had fun though. simon told me he had all these things planned for when i was down there, like a slumber party with chayo and monica and sandy, but he didn't plan anything. or i guess, he didn't really plan the things he said he would, cause some of the things we did felt like he had planned them for his own personal reasons (i won't really get into that since it won't make sense to anyone but me, jessica and possibly ila).
on halloween he took me on a quick driven tour of the campus where he goes to school and while we were leaving some guy in a mask jumped out at us and tapped on the car window when we weren't looking. it was fucking hilarious and scary at the same time, cause we were both watching this slow turning truck on the other side of the street and when this guy tapped/scratched at the window we both turned and there was this skeleton face staring back at us. XD i told simon to ignore it and drive away, but his dumb ass wanted to get out and see if the guy in the mask was hurt or needed help.
we ended up renting a lot of movies (old movies XD) and sitting around the house eating junk food. i got introduced to about 20 lesbians :'D but no guys. whenever a guy came around simon acted like i wasn't there. and i wasn't there to meet anyone anyway, so i just ignored him back XD.
the last night i was there simon was grumpy (i think cause this guy from school was straight XD) and i left with monica and chayo to go play some midnight monopoly like we used to back in the day. XD i was really surprised to see that i was atleast 2-4 inches taller then everyone. i was always taller then chayo, but me and monica used to be about the same height, and i swear to god that chayo's husband (i still have the biggest crush on him) was taller then me, but he was about 2 inches shorter then me :'D and i was wearing flat shoes.
before i left i stole a video tape from simon that we had rented. it's an old copy of lathe of heaven made back in the 70's. i have to send him atleast 50$ to pay the store to replace it XD
i missed my flight out of new mexico and ended up halfing to take another one that changed planes in chicago.
i really should have recognized that as some kind of portent of doom :'D
i have some pictures of simon and monica, but my website was suspended, and probably won't be back up till tomorrow or the day after, so i'll post them later.